Furusato
by ysdnil
Summary: Overcoming the nostalgia of his past, Vegeta slowly accepts the present and discovers his desire for a place his heart secretly longs for. But will he discover this in time? Overcoming her own past, Bulma struggles with her loneliness and fears. Can the two of them help each other forgetting the past and facing the future together? Vegeta/Bulma get together story, the 3 year gap.
1. Chapter 1 - Nostalgia

**Author's note**

Hi there! This is my very first Vegeta/Bulma story. I am a big fan of reading other fanfics that capture the beginning and development of their relationship. I had this idea for a story in my head for a long time and now I finally found the guts to actually write it down and publish it online. I am not a native English speaker, so please do not be too strict on my possible incorrect use of spelling and grammar. I am just a Dragonball fan who truly wants to share her thoughts on how Vegeta and Bulma come together. I am also a big fan of anything that is about the universe and neuroscience, so I did some actual research and included this in the story to make it more accurate. This story will include a lot of flashbacks as that is my way to describe the character and relationship development of Bulma and Vegeta. I hope you like it!

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-** Furusato** is another word for one's hometown, but it's not simply about the place where you're from but the place your heart longs for -

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**Chapter One - Nostalgia**

A dusty ring of little remains of what was once his home planet are orbiting the vast space.

The only reminders that his race ever existed. Now an empty spot in a universe of uncountable stars, planets, asteroides. It's existence preserved in the mind of the Prince of all Saiyans. Not any other living creature could ever retell the stories and tales of the once mighty race of warriors living on the dry red planet Vegetasei.

The control panels are softly blinking and the humming of the spaceship took Vegeta into a mindful state. Comfortably lounging in the pilot chair with his head backwards and heaving limbs, he watched the hollowness illuminated by the distant stars. His mind wandered back to Earth and a particular night on the balcony of Capsule Corps.

****flashback****

"So, where was your home planet?" Nonchalantly, Bulma leaned over the balcony rail, left hand supporting her chin and the right hand balancing a glass of whiskey. Her eyes are scanning the black sky and a content smile is lingering on her face. It was a beautiful Spring night. You could smell the sweet fragrance of the first crocuses, daffodils and primroses. She took a sip of her light amber whiskey and turned her eyes to the alien standing next to her.

Crossed arms, casually leaning against the balcony rail with his right hip. The alien Vegeta. She could only see the left side of his face but she could tell he was taken aback by her question. Wearing a white sweater and black jeans, Bulma always thought Vegeta was a gorgeous man to look at. Even on Namek, as an impeccable self-centered and intimidating jerk with a thirst of murder and revenge, Bulma could see through all of that and discovered the smooth texture of his tanned face and perfectly proportioned nose and lips. Yes, he scared the shit out of her. But after she discovered bits and pieces of his past through Gohan and Krillin, and the occasional "small talk" over a late night coffee, or whiskey, with the Prince himself, she couldn't stop wondering who the true person was behind that mask of coldness and arrogance.

Vegeta slowly turned his face, meeting the curious blue eyes of the female Earthling. As much of an enigma she was to him, he didn't mind conversing with the woman on topics related to training, technology, food and the universe. Because of this, he gradually decrypted the behavior and thinking of this Earthling and began to tolerate it in a routinely manner. After all, she provided him with food and the technology to keep his training schedule up and running. He was content with their natural interactions.

"You know, we can still receive the radio broadcasts from dead planets," Bulma continued. She got used to the one-sided and monologue conversations with Vegeta. He wasn't much of a talker and if he did, she felt that his answers and remarks were always well-thought. And he wasn't big on showing major emotions, it was the quietness and the small moving features of his face that would give Bulma enough information about his state. As he was an enigma to her, she learnt over the past year his unique hidden characteristics and behavioral tics. As a scientist, she knows how to conduct a good observation, and this particular guest of Capsule Corps fulfilled her analytical and curious mind.

"My dad owns his very own telescope, so we can listen for the broadcasts her on Earth and track down your home planet." She finished her glass in one gulp and felt more determined than ever before.

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say or what to think. "Broadcasts?" he finally managed to utter in a low voice.

In her famous Bulma pose, both hands on her hips, and with all the energy and enthusiasm that portrays her being Bulma Briefs, she looked straight into Vegeta's eyes and proudly answered: "The waves are caused by interactions between a dead planet's core and the magnetic field of its dead star. The planet's core conducts electricity and the circuit between the planet's core and the dead star produces radio waves."

It was something Vegeta never thought of, even with his medium knowledge of planets and stars. It was hard to comprehend that after so many years, he could "see" his home planet again? Did he even want to see it? And why was she offering him a chance to locate Vegetasei?

Vegeta's gaze quickly turned up to the sky and back to the balcony's floor. Letting his running thoughts slowly coming to a halt, he decided to look back into the woman's eyes who just overwhelmed him with a new sense of emotions. He slowly nodded and his answer was quickly responded with a huge grin and sparkling blue eyes.

"Let's go find that planet of yours."

This would be a night to never forget.

A night about the past, the now and the future.

He just didn't know back then.

The feeling of looking for something you know was once there, is a feeling Vegeta felt most familiar with: nostalgia. During his time under the regime of Frieza, Vegeta often found solitude and comfort when darkness overtook the brutal reality of his life. It was in that darkness, he could free his mind and reminisce about his early childhood on Vegetasei. The power and glory of the King and Prince of all Saiyans. To rule a race of warriors with thousands of years of stories about conquerment, victory and pride. The one promise that has kept him alive, even when dead could feel like the only option for the relief of pain and abuse, the promise of becoming the Legendary Super Saiyan and avenging his people.

So when Vegeta heard the waves of his dead home planet, he could feel nostalgia through his veins and in every corner of his mind. His brain firing neurons of a meaningful memory, yearning to relive them. When thinking of his planet and heritage, the fibers of his muscles would tense up and relax. His facial expressions turned into a mindful state with a glimpse of blissfulness. It was the only situation that he would accept his emotions taking over him. It was like floating in a warm bath.

****present****

And now, being in space, looking at the empty spot, to be so close to what was once there, he felt for the first time it's force slipping through his fingers. As if his mind was telling him to accept the past. To keep it stored, to keep it safe, but to no longer have the same power to reflect upon his goal to avenge. It is as it is, and there was nothing he could do about it. And he found peace in that.

Sitting in the pilot chair, his eyes halfway open and his breathing in a relaxed state, Vegeta could no longer feel the pain of loneliness. As if waves crashed over his entire body, taking him under water to see the clarity of everything, Vegeta finally understood. The waves that brought him to this empty spot, were coming from a place he actually knew is already there.

The feeling of looking for something you know was once there, is a feeling Vegeta felt most familiar with. The feeling of looking for something that is already there, is a feeling new to Vegeta. New, but mixed with anticipation and intriguement.

With a final look at the control panel, Vegeta decided it was time to set the coordinates back to Earth. As the spaceship powered up setting course to the blue planet, Vegeta let his mind come to a stop and accepted the mindful state of his body.

The spaceship softly landed on the soft earth. A few clicks, a hiss and a voice message telling him that he arrived at his destination, Vegeta slowly opened his eyes and prepared himself to soak up the fresh air. With a swift touch on a button, the door of the spaceship opened.

As soon as his white booths touched the ground, Vegeta felt something was off. Something was terribly off. The gray clouds clustering together and the sound of a rumbling wind, alerted his senses. Vegeta scanned the planet for a particular energy. He didn't find it. Was he too long in space? This didn't make any sense. As he focused on other energies, he noticed that they were in low numbers. Vegeta clenched his teeth and his fingers are trembling. In a split second, he shot up into the sky and headed towards the only place he truly wanted to go to.

The scenery caught his breath. What was once a yellow dome, was now looking like a horrible scene of an atomic bomb aftershock. Nothing looked familiar. Grey and ashed colors of bricks. The remains of the building groaned as a sound like rumbling thunder. Vegeta's breath quickened and his body turned cold. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. It didn't make any sense to him.

_How? Why?_

With trembling legs, his booths grimly shuffled through the debris. His throat dry, he didn't want to think of the possible truth. No longer aware of his surroundings, he didn't hear another pair of feet touching the ground behind him.

"Vegeta, I thought it was you I sensed. I-I need to tell you something..."

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**Sources used**

Dead Planets After Star Explodes (Business Insider 2019).

7 Ways Nostalgia Changes Your Brain According To Science (Bustle 2018).

20 Japanese Words That Will Make You Think (2017).


	2. Chapter 2 - Forgetting the past

**Author's note **

My apologies for the late update! I've been lately reading some GokuxBulma stories and I had a hard time getting back into the VegetaxBulma vibe :) But, now I have an idea for a GokuxBulma story too! To write this chapter, I really had to listen to emotional songs and to use a dictionary and thesaurus. I wanted to use the right words to perfectly grasp the feelings, so hopefully I did a good job. Thanks so much for your reviews, it really brightens up my day and it gives me the motivation to keep on writing. As you might have noticed, I'm using quite some flashbacks, let me know if it's too confusing and I can use extra paragraph titles. Thanks so much for the reviews! Enjoy the story :)

**Previously**

Chapter 1 starts of with Vegeta in his spaceship having a flashback of his moment with Bulma listening to the radio waves of his planet. Later on, the story goes back to the Vegeta in space. Vegeta goes back to Earth after spending time in space for 1 year.

**The story continues...**

Bulma is thinking about the night listening to the radio waves. She is having a flashback to 8 months earlier, when they all returned to Earth after Namek and Vegeta just started living at Capsule Corp. The story will continue from there.

**Chapter 2 - Forgetting the past**

Staring at the warm steam coming from her coffee mug, the earthy aroma pleasantly filling her lungs, Bulma couldn't help but think about last night's events. Normally she could easily indulge herself into her work, but today she felt off. She couldn't focus, didn't even notice her dad walking in and out of her lab. Why was this on her mind?

His startling eyes when he heard the first radio waves coming out of the monitor. As Bulma was setting the right coordinates to locate his home planet, the monitor created a cracking sound, followed by steady electric waves. At first, the monitor rattled alien sounded shrills, but it slowly became a constant buzz similar to a heartbeat. A heartbeat almost matching the rhythm of Vegeta's blood. Running through his veins, going faster through his system as his heart was pumping with much anticipation.

It was the first time Bulma saw this state of Vegeta. Even if it was just a slight alternative of his usual scowl, Bulma got acquainted with Vegeta's little characteristics and hidden behavior over the past months, and with her experienced scientist eyes she was able to detect the tiny changes in his demeanor.

She saw a sparkle, a beautiful mixture of grief and bliss. A memory of what was once there, reminding him of the devastating defeat of his race. A memory resulting in gratitude and pride that somewhere in the universe, his heritage still lingered in the vast universe. It was not all forgotten.

For a few minutes, they didn't speak. There was no sound but the buzzing of the radio waves. It brought both of them in a meditative state of no judgement, no goals, no questions about tomorrow, just this moment in the now.

Vegeta closed his mouth and moved his eyes away from the monitor to the floor, as if he had to think about what to say next. His arms casually next to his body, his chin slightly facing the floor. Bulma turned down the volume of the monitor and waited patiently for his turn to speak. Vegeta licked his lips, a faint cough erupted from his throat. For a moment, Bulma thought he became uncomfortable standing near her. She didn't want to move or say something first, so she looked at her hands resting in her lap. A soft movement of booths woke Bulma from her thoughts and she saw the Saiyan in his blue suit leaving the lab.

Bulma sighed. It was okay. He didn't need to say anything. It was all in his eyes. She smileed and relaxed in her chair. It was okay. She didn't need a confirmation, a thank you from the Saiyan. It was all in his eyes and that made Bulma happy.

How things can change in a few months. Exactly a year ago, she was fearing her life on a green planet while searching for the Dragonballs. Capable of overcoming adventures throughout her teenage life, Namek was something completely outside of her comfort zone. The regret of going there and the thrill of coming to a new understanding of what's out there in the unknown universe. The mechanism of power, ownership and vengeance.

Exactly a year ago, she encountered the brute Saiyan in a state of uncertainty and despair but also boldness and pride. They were all on that planet with one goal: survival. Namek was on the brink of destruction because of one mighty vicious creature and they all needed to cooperate to get out alive.

Maybe that's why Bulma wanted to hook up the monitor in search for another mystery of the universe. She wanted to understand those eyes. Those eyes that looked straight at her in a moment of life and death, exactly a year ago. A moment of life and death they shared together on Namek. And those eyes that kept following her for the past months while living together under the same roof.

*****8 months after returning from Namek*****

He was screaming again. The sound vibrated through the walls. A horrifying sound that was keeping Bulma awake for the past weeks. As she was lying awake in bed, eyes closed, clutching the sheets so hard her knuckles were white, Bulma felt ill at ease. Her whole body trembled. Vegeta was having these dreams and it made her feel helpless.

Bulma recalled Gohan telling her how Vegeta died and what is last words were on Namek.

"He… he was shot. One single blow by F-Frieza… He couldn't even defend himself. It was so brutal and unfair!" Gohan tightly held his mug, trying to withhold his tears.

"He, he told us how he was taken away by Frieza when he was just a little boy. He had to do everything Frieza asked of him or he would kill his father." Gohan coughed out the last words.

Anger and disbelief marked Gohan's face as he's sniffing away his tears. "I-I just can't imagine… his life under Frieza… it must have been torturous, Bulma… He-he begged my dad to destroy Frieza because Vegeta didn't want anyone else to become what he has become growing up with this violent and heartless monster."

It was a lot for Bulma to take. The evil she witnessed when Vegeta arrived on Earth for the first time versus the death of a traumatized man begging for retaliation. It is not easy to comprehend what he must have gone through and how it made him the man he is now. What if things would have been different. Would she have met Vegeta as a different man? Would she have met him at all?

Bulma decided to get out of her bed. Bare feet touching the soft carpet, she walked out of her bedroom. As soon as she was in the hallway, the screaming started to haunt her again, giving her chills all over her body. She took a deep breath and carefully walked down the hall.

Standing in front of Vegeta's bedroom door, Bulma doesn't know what to do. _I can't just walk in. But what else can I do. Is it actually up to me to do something?_ Bulma turned around and rested the back of her head against Vegeta's bedroom door. Tears started to well up in her eyes and her lips cannot stop trembling. Slowly, she let her body slide to the floor, leaning against the door with knees up to her chest. It's too painful for her to hear him scream. The agony. He's reliving his gruesome past of torture, captivity and endless violence.

She was there on Namek. Fearing for her life and for the lives of her friends. Flashbacks to bloody battle scenes sometimes creep inside her dreams. Anxiety and despair of never seeing Earth again. Yes, she has been on adventures before. But this was not compared to the childish hunt for the Dragonballs with a young and naive Goku. This was life or death. And she got so lucky. So, so lucky she got out of there alive.

Goku was gone, she couldn't talk to him. Gohan was trapped at home under strict surveillance of his mother. Krillin was battling his own trauma of his death on Namek. And Yamcha, well she hasn't been on good terms with him. Since he came back, she felt disconnected and misunderstood. It was like their lives completely changed because of Namek. Yamcha's death caused him to abandon training and indulge himself into a lifestyle of "you only live once". Booze, women and parties. Ironically, this was actually his second chance in life. So much for living only once… And sometimes, it felt for Bulma that this was also her second chance in life. Overcoming a horrendous time on a foreign planet, Bulma reflected on her life here on Earth. She felt really lonely. Stuck and waiting. Waiting for another threat. This time it came from the future. How ironic again, most people would love to know what the future holds. But this was a future she didn't want to know about at all. What is life if you know it can be all gone in a flash. What a second chance in life… Her life, living with an alien who's screams now subdued and turned into indecipherable muttering.

Bulma couldn't understand what Vegeta was saying. As he was speaking in a different language. Maybe he was speaking a different language. His native tongue… The words very foreign to her, but she could still feel the grief and pain.

Bulma exhaled and slowly opened her eyes. The pain she was feeling, the pain he was feeling, only separated by a bedroom door. The door symbolizing the separation of two lives, two completely different lives but sharing the same emotions. A separation that is being withheld because of the past. With one final look to Vegeta's door, Bulma stood up. Touching the door with her fingers for just a few seconds. _I know there's evil inside of you, Vegeta. But someone else put it there_. _You didn't create it. I think you secretly don't want it but you don't know how to live without it_, Bulma thought. She walked back to her bedroom, hoping for a clearer day.

The next morning, Bulma was fighting to stay awake. Her eyes half open gazing at the big pile of pancakes she ordered the kitchen robot to make. She sipped from her third cup of coffee. Massaging her temples, she recalled last night's events and the lack of sleep. "Another day in paradise,'' she sighed. At that moment, her alien guest walked into the kitchen. Looking at his sulken posture, Bulma can tell that Vegeta also didn't feel like waking up today. With a thud, he sits down at the kitchen counter. Pinching his nose he grunted and sighed.

"Good morning to you too," Bulma murmured.

"Hn," Vegeta groaned.

He saw the pile of pancakes and grabbed a few on a plate. He sniffed and noticed Bulma drinking her coffee.

"Give me one of those black liquid beverages."

With a lazy hand, Bulma pushed the coffee pot to Vegeta. Vegeta grabbed the coffee pot and drank the entire content in one gulp.

"Wow, you're sure in a need of a caffeine rush. What are you up to? Planning to run an Earth marathon 10 times in a row?" Bulma dumbfoundly said.

"My plans are none of your business, woman"

"Suit yourself. Don't let the coffee keep you awake at night," and with that Bulma stood up.

Vegeta froze and looked suspiciously at the blue headed Earthling. Squinting his eyes he observed the woman walking out of the kitchen. "What is she talking about," Vegeta murmured. Shoving the pancakes in one quick motion, he felt satisfied, Vegeta's biological clock telling him it's time for his training.

It was quiet at Capsule Corp again. Bulma could hear the rain ticking against the window glass. Lying in her bad, gazing at the ceiling, she felt that she was waiting for the screams again. Bulma knew Vegeta is in his bedroom. Like a trained soldier, Vegeta preferred his strict schedule and routine. Waking up at 6:00. Training until lunch. Then some more training until dinner. Shower and then bedtime at 22:00 sharp.

As if this was also according to Vegeta's schedule, Bulma heard the first cries piercing through the walls. Immediately she sat up. Without any second thought, she stood up and stormed the hallway in. Taking a deep breath, she's now determined to go to Vegeta's bedroom again. This time prepared, having her own emotions in check.

Standing in front of his bedroom door, she felt the vibrating sound of his shouting. Clutching the door's knob, she heard him talking in his sleep.

"Father…."

"Father … don't …. leave …. me."

Vegeta was having a nightmare. Maniacal laughter echoing in his mind. The sound kept coming and coming, crushing him and forcing him to drop on his knees. The agony, the shame. Why couldn't he stop them? Why were they still in his head? Dark figures approached his weakened body. Their hands gripping his arms, legs, chest and head. Their nails digging deep into his flesh. His body felt hot like it was in flames. Flames taking over his breathing, burning up all the oxygen and leaving him panting for air. It felt as if the creatures were painstakingly entering his skin. Crawling through his veins, cutting like knives. He couldn't take it any longer. The pain, the immense pain eating every inch of his body. And it dug deeper and deeper into his core until...

A bone shattering scream. Bulma squeezed her eyes shut. She has to go in. Bulma slammed the door open. Shocked, she saw a destroyed Vegeta. Sweating, tossing and turning in his bed. Anger, fear, pain written on his face.

"No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta yelled.

She couldn't take it anymore. Bulma acted in the moment. She jumped on his bed, each knee on each side of his body. She grabbed his face with both hands as Vegeta suddenly jerked up. Bulma knew she was risking her life. He could easily smack her against the wall or blow an energy beam through her body. But this wasn't the time to think. She needed to act. Oh, she desperately wanted to do something with these nightmares for the past days. As if she was holding her own nightmares, trying to calm it.

Bulma held Vegeta's face with both hands. Vegeta's eyes are wide and his breathing is quickened. She could tell he was disoriented. Sweat dripped down his face, his upper body moist and shivering. It took awhile for Vegeta to become focused.

"It's okay, Vegeta. It's all okay." Bulma said with a soothing voice.

He looked up to her, straight into her blue concerning eyes. "W-what, what… you… my… bed…?"

Bulma caressed his cheeks and gave him a reassuring smile. "You're okay, Vegeta. It was a nightmare. You're at Capsule Corp. You're safe", she whispers.

Vegeta looked so confused and felt caught. _What was this woman doing in his bedroom? Why was she holding his face? She… she… does she know?_

Vegeta wanted to push Bulma away but all of his energy was gone. Bulma felt that he wanted to get out of the bed so she stepped away from him. Sitting next to him, giving him some space to calm down.

"Vegeta, what just happened… nobody needs to know. I wasn't here, okay? I just couldn't..."

His breathing became more steady. Vegeta ran a hand through his hair and face. Closing and opening his eyes with a sigh, he looked back at Bulma. His stoic face was back.

"What did you hear?" Vegeta asked in a low whisper.

Bulma was fumbling with her hands, looking at her lap she replied, "Nothing."

"You're lying. You heard something, why else would you be here. In my bed?"

Slowly she looked in his eyes again. With a concerned look on her face she told him, "Vegeta, you really don't have to worry. It's okay … I-I know you've been having these nightmares for the past few weeks. I've been having them too since Namek."

Vegeta pulled his chin up, his gaze following Bulma's hands and back up to her face.

"What do you know about my nightmares," Vegeta scoffed.

Bulma sighed. "Nothing. I don't know anything. I… never mind." Bulma was about to stand up but Vegeta grabbed her wrist.

"This is something between you and me, you got that?" Vegeta sternly said.

Bulma nodded her head. Looking at Vegeta's hand holding her wrist. _Was it her or was he holding it longer than he actually intended to?_ Vegeta saw her questioning face and immediately let go of her. Bulma could still feel his hands on her wrist. Standing next to his bed, the only sound was the rain against the windows.

"You know Vegeta, the past is the past. It can haunt you for the rest of your life but you're the only one who can tell yourself to let it go. I know it's not easy, and time will tell, but let's try together, okay?" With a final look at Vegeta, she opened the bedroom door and walked out of his room.

Vegeta took a deep breath, recollecting what just happened. Looking at his fingers that just held the woman's wrist, still feeling the warmth of her skin, he smirked.

"Let's try together… That damn woman."


	3. Chapter 3 - You're around

**Author's note**

My apologies for the late update! I had a bit of a writer's block but I was thinking about this story every day. Actually the songs of Billie Eilish really helped me "to become" Bulma or Vegeta. I will refer to parts of her lyrics in each upcoming chapter and I would recommend you to listen to her songs. She is brilliant. So I don't own her lyrics and I do not own DBZ. Hope you will enjoy this chapter. And… the next one is almost ready too! A present for all the waiting :)

**Previously ...**

_"You know Vegeta, the past is the past. It can haunt you for the rest of your life but you're the only one who can tell yourself to let it go. I know it's not easy, and time will tell, but let's try together, okay?" With a final look at Vegeta, she opened the bedroom door and walked out of his room._

_Vegeta took a deep breath, recollecting what just happened. He looked at his fingers that just held the woman's wrist. Still feeling the warmth of her skin, he smirked._

_"Let's try together… That damn woman."_

And the story continues...

**Chapter 3 - You are around**

_Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own_

_I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that_

_I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that_

_But nothing is better sometimes_

_Once we've both said our goodbyes_

_Let's just let it go_

_Billie Eilish - when the party's over_

Another day in paradise. Another quiet evening at home. Only the clicking of her heels echoing through the large hallway was the only soundable human activity. Bulma dropped her purse with a thud on the floor. She lazily removed her black heels and her bare feet are pleasantly greeted by the cold marmer floor. Bulma slid herself to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out a half full bottle of white wine. Removing the already used cork with a pop, she gently filled her glass till the brim. In one swig, she emptied her glass, letting the wine linger a bit on her tongue before she loudly swallowed the welcoming dry liquor.

She just came back from a tech gala. Scientists, business people, investors and politicians were all dressed up for a night of exclusive cocktails, grand buffet, jazzy music, and the latest gossip in tech world. A parade of fake people who felt too important for normal chit chat and cheap champagne. Bulma and her dad were always invited to these kind of events. As owners of Capsule Corp, they were treated as royalty. Only the best for the world renowned scientist and his brilliant daughter.

Bulma hated attending these parties. In the beginning, she didn't mind it that much since Yamcha would be at her side. Whispering jokes in her ear, goofy moves on the dance floor and stealing extra food from the buffet for a late night snack in bed. But he wasn't around anymore. They both agreed it was for the best.

Bulma deeply sighed, letting her tired eyes roam the kitchen cabinets. Another day being on her own in an enormous empty house. Bulma grabbed the bottle of wine and stumbled to the living room. She plopped down on the soft couch and stared out the window. The rain is dripping against the glass, reflecting the light of the early moon. Seeing her reflection, she can't help but smirk. Her face and the drops of rain, symbolizing her drowning feelings. A pool of emptiness. She took a large swig of wine straight from the bottle. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Bulma fell back into the couch, letting the pillows consume her frail and tired body.

"_You know Vegeta, the past is the past. It can haunt you for the rest of your life but you're the only one who can tell yourself to let it go. I know it's not easy, and time will tell, but let's try together, okay?"_

"Ha, what a joke," Bulma huffed and took another swig of her wine. "The past is the past … " She sank deeper and deeper into the pillows. The words, the touch, like a whirlwind, they rushed through her tempered mind. Making no sense of their true meaning. Looking at her hands, she lightly touched her wrist where Vegeta held her. Her index fingers tracing the lines in her hand, making sure to touch every finger. The lines that could tell your future, but these lines were more familiar with the past. And more recently, the face of one Saiyan prince.

A face that has seen so many battles. So many deaths. Facing the world with arrogance, pride and a plastered scowl. An ex-soldier who lived his life at the front. Enduring countless battles and gruesome murders, always living in a fight or flight status. Bulma's body shivers. She has lived her life under this safe roof with friends nearby who are the strongest on Earth. Bulma could not imagine a life of continuous survival, never certain of being alive the next day. To live the life of a murderer. But then again, he fought together with Krillin and Gohan to defeat Frieza. A monster who had only inflicted pain in his life. A life of torture and captivity that became normal for him to live by. He didn't know a different way of living. He was always told to destroy and to kill. Or he would be killed.

His ruthless and reserved behavior was actually easy to explain.

No one ever notices how you actually feel. No one knows what you've been through and why you're saying the things the way you're saying it and why you're acting the way you're acting. And how could they know, if you're keeping them in a distant place?

She should be happy. Her days were filled with new inventions, calculating outcomes with high end data and tinkering with prototypes. It's everything she wanted as a little girl. But if she was being honest, I didn't fill the hole in her heart. Yes, her parents care for her. But they were always on business trips. And to her opinion, too optimistic about life in general. Filling their days with homemade ice tea and "it's about the small things in life". Bulma grimaced. She never felt comfortable being on her parents' pink cotton candy merry go round. As a scientist, she felt comfort and satisfaction in reality, hard facts, cause and effect.

Oh, she would have her bubbly spontaneous and emotional moments now and then. She wasn't a robot. But her friends were fighting for her. Her friends were training so she can survive. They were all enduring daily a hardcore training regime to get stronger for the unknown. Exactly the unknown. She was part of it, whether she wanted it or not. But by keeping a distance, she was avoiding the worried and worn-out faces that kept reminding her of their fate. So she created a shield. A shield of a Bulma Briefs supporting her friends with a smile and optimism. A distant and safe place for them to believe her.

And now she felt alone. It wouldn't take much to reach her friends, but she didn't dare to take a step in that direction. To the unknown. There was no telling what the future will hold. There was no telling what will happen when the so-called killer androids come to Earth. Would her friends be strong enough to defeat them? If not, then what was the point to all of this? After the boy from the future left, they all said their goodbyes. Leaving in silence and no last words. Nothing is better sometimes.

_But he's around,_ her mind suddenly brings in. Bulma can't believe she's actually hearing the words echoing in her head. She knew immediately what her mind was trying to tell her. The person who is around is not someone who you truly felt was actually present. In his reserved way of existing in this house, he was like a ghost or maybe more like a spirit letting her know that she was still alive. He was a lost Prince and that person was Vegeta. And he didn't know her past. And he would never judge it.

Bulma finished the bottle with a final swig. Her tired eyes looked at the clock and the red digits remind her that morning is almost there. With a final sigh, she stood up from the couch and walked towards the hallway heading for her bedroom. Passing the windows, she could have a final glance at the Gravity Room. A little smile appears on her face. Yes, he's around. And that was maybe better sometimes.


	4. Chapter 4 - Those hands

**Previously**

_His ruthless and reserved behavior was actually easy to explain._

_No one ever notices how you actually feel. No one knows what you've been through and why you're saying the things the way you're saying it and why you're acting the way you're acting. And how could they know, if you're keeping them in a distant place?_

_And now she felt alone. It wouldn't take much to reach her friends, but she didn't dare to take a step in that direction. To the unknown. __But he's around, __her mind suddenly brings in. A little smile appears on her face. Yes, he's around. And that was maybe better sometimes._

And the story continues...

**Chapter 4 - Those hands**

_Gold on your fingertips_

_Fingertips against my cheek_

_Billie Eilish - Hostage_

He couldn't get it out of his head.

Her hands lingered on his face. Her warm, delicate and creamy white skin touching his cheeks in a moment of desperation. Thumbs caressing his scared face, reminding him of the thousands gruesome battles in his life. Battles that were haunting him. Teasing his troublesome mind. Vile laughter licking his wounds as if they were telling him, "This is not the end." Always being told what to do has made his muscles act on command. And only in a certain way: conquer and survive. How he was mocked and tossed around from a young age. Leaving him questioning his existence and purpose in life.

And all it took was those hands to calm him down.

Vegeta recalled seeing the woman on Namek. She held either a feisty attitude to protect those damn Dragonballs, but she could also display her weakness and fears. He always wondered why the hell she was even on that hell bound planet. Was she so stupid to risk her own life?

But then again, wasn't he risking his own life? His Saiyan pride often overtook his fear for Frieza and his force, but deep down he knew eventually he wouldn't be a match. It's because of his natural urges that he will always proceed in a fight and never walk away from hit. But this time, it costed him his life.

Uttering his last words to Kakarot, he felt for the first time peace in his defeat. It was okay for him to die. To get him out of endless misery and pain. He could be a free man. There was now another Saiyan who could avenge their race and Vegeta was putting all of his faith in this man. The last full blooded Saiyan.

But even Kakarot couldn't properly defeat the evil monster Frieza. He let him go. Disgracing his Saiyan heritage, he let Frieza live. Not in a million years would Vegeta ever thought that someone in this entire universe would let Frieza live in a winning match. He even watched the Super Saiyan fighting the powerful Frieza and it looked like a win for the Saiyan race. Before he was sent to Earth.

He is alive. What a joke. Stuck on a planet lacking any strength. He even helped the woman and her weak friends on how to wish their precious 'Goku' back to life. Only to find himself travelling through space, filled with rage and curiosity, to discover the truth about Frieza and how Kakarot became a Super Saiyan.

It was not only his anger of not knowing how to become a Super Saiyan. It was this disconcerted gut feeling that Frieza could be out there, alive, that was eating him up from inside. Tapping into his past fears mixed with recent experiences was the perfect cocktail for his daily nightmares.

And all it took was those hands to calm him down.

Vegeta was standing in the Gravity Room after a 5-hour training session. His body felt exhausted but his mind felt calmer than ever. His cheeks were itching as he was almost longing for those hands again. "Tsk, that stupid woman. Why would she even consider coming into my room and act like that," Vegeta mumbled. No one ever touched him like that, so he wasn't sure what he was feeling. "Just knock it off, Vegeta. She's just a weak Earthling."

But he couldn't knock it off. Later at dinner time, seeing the blue headed woman mindfully eating her food, he couldn't help but stare at her hands. Those delicate hands holding simple kitchen utensils. Unconsciously, he would touch his face now and then. And it wasn't only during that dinner. It was every freaking morning, lunch and dinner the days after. Whenever he was going for food, the woman was there. Silently eating her food, trying to have a conversation with the Saiyan. And if he didn't respond, she would just simply go back to her food as if it was a normal thing to have a monologue conversation.

It was then when he heard a cry coming from the lab next to the Gravity Chamber. Vegeta just finished his training session and was about to make himself ready for dinner, when he heard the female Earthling whimpering and cursing.

"Aaaaargh! Dammit, stupid bot!" Bulma yelled.

"You're producing too much sound, woman!" Vegeta walked in with a scowl on his face, observing the situation. The woman cut her hand and blood was dripping on the floor. I didn't look like a normal cut looking at the amount of blood. He walked to Bulma and grabbed the bot from her.

"Ahh ahh auu, Vegeta… that hurts", Bulma whimpered.

"Let me see that. What the hell did you do now?" Vegeta groaned.

Taking her bloody hand in his gloved hands, he carefully inspected the wound. "Looks like a deep cut, this needs to be treated." Vegeta walked over to the cabinet where Bulma kept her first aid kits and medical supplies. He saw the woman numerous times grabbing things from this cabinet when he was wounded after a serious training session.

"Put your hand on the table so it's steady," he told Bulma.

The blue head obeyed and carefully placed her hand on the metal table. Vegeta dipped a cotton ball in iodine and gently placed it on the wound.

"Aaarghhh mother of….", Bulma screamed. Clenching her teeth, she looked away from the wound. Balding her healthy fist, she almost slammed it on the table.

Vegeta smirked. Looking at the trembling woman trying to hold back her tears. This wound is nothing to Vegeta and all the times Bulma put iodine on his body it didn't even feel like a mosquito bite. But her body was certainly not like his. Dipping the cotton ball on her hand, he once again was reminded by her holding his face. Long fine fingers with here and there some grease stains from working with machinery. These fingers that provided him with calmness and warmth. Unknowingly, his other hand started tracing her unaffected fingers. With the back of his index finger he softly touched her thumb and wrist. So small, and so fragile. He could break it so easily. His thumb caressed her wrist and lower arm. Even though he's wearing his white gloves, he felt the softness of her skin.

"Uhm… Vegeta?"

Vegeta abruptly woke up from his thoughts. Panic written on his face. _Was he touching her? Why was he touching her?_ Vegeta coughed and quickly turned back to her other hand. With a final gunt, he grabbed some bandages and wrapped them around Bulma's hand.

"Now go back to your work woman, I need those bots tomorrow. Don't ever do something stupid like that again." And with those last words, Vegeta quickly walked out of the lab.

Bulma stared at her bandaged hand. Vegeta did a good job treating it. The pain was still intense, but it felt numb compared to what she was feeling now. Looking at her other hand where Vegeta touched her, a million thoughts are running through her mind. He was so gentle and almost caring. The touch of his fingers still lingering on her skin. _Why do I feel at ease with him?_ Yes, she was definitely confused but she felt comfortable letting him touch her like that.

Ever since Vegeta started living at Capsule Corp, Bulma never felt unsafe. Yes, he was always arrogant and his form of communication was never calm and polite. But he never lifted a finger to her. Hell, the moment he stepped foot on Earth again he let Bulma guide him to the bathroom for a well needed shower. He wore his new clothes (although, they were pink and yellow) and ate her barbecue food.

Since then, Vegeta just minded his own business, spending most of the time in the Gravity Room. They would only see each other for food, midgnight coffees or when he broke one of the bots. It felt almost peaceful.

However, since the nightmares and the one night Bulma was there when he woke up from one of them, things have been different. She would notice him staring at her. Making excuses to abruptly leave in the middle of yelling at her for not fixing the bots on time.

Bulma took a deep breath. _What is going on inside that mind of him? _

Vegeta slammed the door of his bedroom shut. He really needed a shower to clear his mind. He turned on the tap and let the water fall on his head, hoping the sensation of it will stop all his thoughts. With his head hung down and both hands leaning against the tiles of the shower cabin, Vegeta took a moment to slow down his breathing. His head is spinning. His stomach twisting and turning. _What the hell is going on with you?! _Vegeta broke one of the tiles with his fist. _I'm a warrior, focus on becoming a Super Saiyan, you fool! I'm not in the position to let my guard down and help some coward of a woman._ Vegeta looked at his fingers, still hot from touching her. _I don't have time to waste with this nonsense! _The other fist hits the tiles leaving a large crack in the wall. Vegeta heavily sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. Never in his life could he find peace in his mind. Always occupied by words of others, telling him what to do and how to act. Words that would pierce like knives in his brain, leaving scarves of fabricated truths.

Vegeta scrubbed his body with soap. Scrubbing hard as if it would clean his skin from all the pain. As if it would clean his mind from all the echoes of past violence and torture. It wasn't enough. His skin turned red and the hot water stang on his new formed grazes. In one smooth twist, he turned of the shower. Vegeta dropped his head and closed his eyes, the water dripping from his body to the floor. The more his mind is taking over, the more it seems Vegeta is letting it take over just to see how far it can bend before it breaks. _I deserve it_.

Clutching his hair with both hands, Vegeta lets out a scream. A scream filled with weariness, loss and despair. He needs to get out of here. This place, it's becoming too claustrophobic. Stumbling out of the shower, feeling no need to dry himself, he grabs a clean white shirt and black shorts. When he opened the bathroom door, he noticed it's really quiet. Storming down the hallway and the stairs, Vegeta almost reached the front door but a certain blue appearance is blocking his way.

"I heard you breaking the shower, Vegeta. Gosh, do you really need to break everything in this house? Isn't the Gravity Chamber enough for you to let go of that ridiculous anger of you?" Bulma yelled.

She didn't mean it. She didn't mean to yell at him and to say those words. She just didn't know how to make him stop and to try and talk to him.

Vegeta is fuming. His breathing quickened and his fists clenched. Showing his sharp teeth like a predator. _She needs to get out of his way. She needs to get out of his way._

Bulma saw the change in his behavior and took a step back. _Something happened_.

"Woman … Step away …," Vegeta said through clenched teeth.

"Why Vegeta?" Bulma whispered.

"Woman … I'm telling you … to … step **away**!" Vegeta growled.

"What if I don't want to?" Bulma stood her ground, both hands on her hips. Deep down she's shaking. Cold sweat started to form on her back. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Now wasn't the time to show her fear in front of Vegeta. No wasn't the time to rethink her acting. Why was she actually standing in front of him? Was it because of his nightmares?

_"He, he told us how he was taken away by Frieza when he was just a little boy. He had to do everything Frieza asked of him or he would kill his father." Gohan coughed out the last words._

Was it because she knew damn well that she was craving for any kind of interaction, be it a confrontation of exposing deep down emotions, a clash of two people overcoming their hurt and lost. Two people being lost in this world.

_But he's around_

Confusion etched across Vegeta's face, not understanding why the woman was minding his business. Wavering between blowing up in absolute rage and telling her to get the hell away from him, or leaving a hole in the wall next to him as a way to escape, Vegeta felt weary. Unclenching his fists, Vegeta slowly walked towards Bulma.

Taken aback by his sudden calm behavior and how he was approaching her now, Bulma took a step back.

"Do you **really** think I won't just blow you up so I can finally get rid of your aggravating voice?" Vegeta snarled.

"Then do it Vegeta, " Bulma calmly replied, "If that makes you feel better."

Vegeta stopped walking and remained where he stood, drowning in his own conflicting emotions. _He wanted to leave this hell hole, right? Then why the f- was he still standing here?_ The woman in front of him looked calm and this was getting on his nerves.

"You have absolutely no right to tell me what to do, Earthling!" Vegeta spat back in anger. "It is up to **me** to blow you up or not and it is up to **me** to leave this place or not!"

"This is my home, you moron! You're neither in a position to command me!" Bulma bit back with attitude. She honestly cannot believe she just said that out loud. _This will make the situation only worse, Bulma…_

That did it. He finally snapped.

"YOU GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Vegeta boomed in rage.

With a quick smooth movement, Vegeta pinned Bulma against the wall. Both hands besides her face, leaving cracks in the wall. Vegeta was fuming and his eyes spoke of bloodlust. Baring his sharp teeth his black eyes looked straight into her blue ocean eyes.

Vegeta felt he was stumbling blindly through the dark clawing for air. He was suffocating. _What is this woman doing to me? __Why is she here? _Vegeta felt his chest stiffen, emotions of loss rumbling in his throat. He was trying to keep it all down. These emotions were not allowed to reach the surface and to break his pride. But she made him standing at the edge, ready to burst any moment.

Bulma didn't blink. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it might rip out of her chest. Her fingers scratching the wall behind her. _What the freaking hell was she doing?_ He murdered her friends, showed no mercy on Namek, and here she was, caught between the arms of a cold-hearted killer. But she was the first to see the uncertainty behind Vegeta's eyes. The way he was looking at her now, his irises dilated piercing right through her as if he's begging her to do whatever it is to save him.

_"I-I just can't imagine… his life under Frieza… it must have been torturous, Bulma… He-he begged my dad to destroy Frieza because Vegeta didn't want anyone else to become what he has become growing up with this violent and heartless monster."_

"Don't hide," Bulma finally managed to say. With a whisper, so soft, only Vegeta would be able to hear it because of his close proximity. Bulma tried to swallow, her throat dry and burning. Surprised by her own words, she wasn't entirely sure why she would express those exact words right now in front of him. But it was those words that woke him up his thoughts.

Bewildered, Vegeta took a step back. His eyes never leaving the woman. His lips trembling, not sure if he should answer her. He wasn't even sure what to say if he wanted to. His mind told him to run but he couldn't move his body. Bulma saw him hesitating, as a scared little boy being caught. Her hands slowly moved away from the wall. Carefully, she took a step forward. Her fingers tingling as if they were telling her what to do. And that's what they did. Holding the face of a lost Saiyan.

Her warm hands on his face, again. Her eyes concerned, trying to pry his mind for answers. _Those hands. Was it the answer to all of this?_ The agony dimmed by a simple touch. Vegeta felt his chest loosen. The dark creatures in his head slowly ebbing to the background. He was allowing her to take over. And his knees gave in.

Both of them fell on the welcoming cold floor. Her hands never left his face and his eyes never left her eyes. The quietness was enough for them. Words weren't needed. Just being here in the moment. Vegeta and Bulma sat there for a while. They didn't know for how long. And it didn't matter.

After a couple of minutes, Vegeta finally sighed. Closing and opening his eyes, turning his gaze to his knees. His hands on top of Bulma's, softly holding her fingers. Vegeta carefully removed her hands from his face and stood up. Still looking to the ground not saying a single word. Bulma didn't want to see his face. Her hands told her enough. White booths walked away from her. They stopped and Bulma carefully looked up to see the left side of Vegeta's calm face. Finally, Vegeta uttered in a coarse and low voice: "It's not up to us to let go of the past."

And with those last words, he continued walking away from her disappearing into the night.

Bulma heard him walking up the stairs. She looked at her hands and tears started to well up in her eyes. She knew what he meant with those words. If it was up to her, it would have been too easy to let go. But the past is an imprint on your existence. It marks your next steps like a prearranged path. Bulma held herself. She just couldn't accept it. Looking at the staircase, Bulma felt determined to challenge his answer. "To hell with it, Saiyan", Bulma said while she stood up.

"I'll show you."


End file.
